When someone you value ignores you!

An old acquaintance shared a photograph of a senior NRI associate / relative / friend’s family that used to call umpteen times while they were in the foreign land. However, they did totally ignore my existence this time since they landed in the motherland recently.

Being associated with the creative fields of journalism and fine arts, I ‘m used to brickbats and accolades of my readers. It is not easy to accept to go into oblivion.

It happens that people come close, closer, still closer and when their illusions shatter they drift away. With years of swim and trim, the ambience and temp of water affect me no more. However, a human can be apathetic but not senseless. The relationships pass through various stages. Human nature is complex and our behaviour doesn’t always reflect what we’re or we want to be.

It could be very difficult at times to tell what makes the people act the way they do. Why the sudden changes creep into their  behaviour without a clearly identifiable cause. This is especially hard when it comes from your once affectionate associates. The pertinent question remains – `Why is someone ignoring you and why the change? Does this question sound familiar? Are you also often puzzled by this kind of distant behaviour?
Before exploring the reasons, I put some interesting observations based on introspection:

When we’re dynamic, we lose balance; when we’re still we turn stagnant; when we’re intense, we’re tense and when we’re relax, we go lax. So, before searching the holes in others, we should first always look inwards. But blaming oneself is not a healthy option always.

Again the pertinent question needs to be tackled: “Why someone is ignoring you?”

First spontaneous reaction as Mirza Ghalib had said, “Dil ke bahlaney ko Ghalib yeh khyal achcha hai?” (A thought more to palliate your wounded ego).

Before we immediately imagine the worst possible scenario – your associate does think that you’re no longer worth to be in the inner circle, here are some of the most common reasons for someone giving the cold shoulder:

He / she needs to breathe. Too much of your existence has lately occupied their mental spaces.

Upset and doesn’t want to talk about it.
You, yourself might been acting different lately.
Some old or new friends are affecting their decisions.
They are just busy.
They are jealous of your status.

They are thinking of ending things
They have got cold feet or lost the loving feeling – Sometimes, when some guys start to become emotionally attached they just sort of freak out for a bit and get cold feet. They try to push you away, they hesitate and question their own feelings.

Then all one can do is to give some space and time to himself / herself to accept the new reality.

Naim Naqvi

Naim Naqvi

Did his graduation in Science discipline from AMU in 1972-73. He was Secretary of University Ali Society in 1970 and M.M. Hall Literary Society in early 70 's and member of Tayyabji Literary Society. Did his Diploma in Bakery Administration from HTT College Oxford Street London in 1987. Worked with National Herald - Delhi, Blitz - Bombay as Trainee Journalist and in Production Department with 'Naya Sansar Pictures' of Khwaja Ahmed Abbas at Bombay in early 70's. Traveled for study and training purposes to Germany, U.K., Switzerland, France, Dubai, Oman, AbuDhabi, Bahrain and Philepines.

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